3. The choice of partner

  First part

   The choice of a partner is the first step to start the engagement. It is not easy to make a good choice, since the bride and groom often hide their defects. Girls seek to attract the attention with their flirtatiousness and beauty and guys usually flirt, say compliments to conquer a woman.

    It is essential to have a clear idea: courtship is a way toward marriage, or at least it must have this intention. Some young people confuse the courtship with gallantry, a frivolous affair, a romantic dream or a fleeting love of adolescents. Then, this courtship can end in an amicable or painful separation, but it began with an oriented intention.

  A) Select an answer

 • The choice of partner is the first step to start the ( )
 • The bride and groom often hide their ( )
 • The girls attract attention with their ( )
 • Boys tend to say ( ) to conquer a woman.
 • Engagement is a way toward ( )
 • Gallantry or affair is not a/an ( )

  Second part

   In order to hit on the choice of the partner, we should not be carried along by the first impressions or confuse the friendship and camaraderie with the love. We will have to take into account the various factors that can help or complicate the married life.

   The starting point for the election is to have a model that pleases and in this model is the beauty, goodness, intelligence, sympathy, money and other things. But in today's society, so complicated and neurotic, sometimes does not take into account this personal model to which all young people aspire. On the contrary the relationship between boy and girl seek pleasure from the first time and this neglect causes the deterioration of the relationship.

   It is not prudent to be blinded by the beauty. A beautiful face and body are appreciable aspects, but these do not last forever. The body becomes heavy and loses its grace. The bodily features lose their beauty and the initial color wrinkles. The personal qualities such as frankness, the humor, generosity and others last forever.

  B) Select an answer

 • We do not confuse the ( ) with friendship and camaraderie.
 • We must have a ( ) in order to elect the partner.
 • It is a mistake to look for the ( ) in relationships.
 • It is not prudent to be carried along by the ( )
 • The body will be ( ) with time.
 • The personal ( ) are what last forever.

  Third part

    It is prudent to choose someone else who has received more or less the same education.

    If they both had a similar education, tastes, habits and ways of thinking will "fit in" more easily. The friction and collisions that can come not only from the bride and groom but from their families will bear better. "Almost all the current psychological studies indicate that it is crucial to find a spouse that closely resembles one. If he/she is very different can be an initial attraction, but the more lasting and rewarding marriages tend to be those in which the couple is very similar." (1).

    Courtship is the time to know each other in relation to the character, pleasures, ideals, religiosity, and ways of carrying out the project of common life. It is an excellent school for the training of the will that fight the selfishness, controls the passions, promotes the generosity and respect, stimulates reflection and the sense of responsibility. Many hours of dialog are required in order to discover the personality of the other and in this way the bride and groom are trained to smooth things over, give in their whims, sacrifice the one by the other and achieve the higher goals of their love.

    (1) Neil Clark Warren, Finding The love of Your Life, New Cork, Simon and Schuster, 1992.

  C) Select an answer

 • It is preferable that the other person has the same ( )
 • The ( ) will be better tolerated between the bride and groom and their families.
 • If spouses are similar, marriage is more ( )
 • Engagement is a time to ( )
 • We must know the ( ) of life together.
 • The ( ) may be formed in the courtship.
 • Many hours of ( ) are required.

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®Arturo Ramo García.-Record of intellectual property of Teruel (Spain) No 141, of 29-IX-1999
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