3. The marriage project

  1. The common project

   It is necessary that spouses have a marriage project whose engagement is forever. It is a project of committed and enthusiastic love of shared life.

    They will have a series of values that they accept and are going to live together, such as: the permanent union with fidelity. How should the usual coexistence be? They should treat as friends with understanding and sincerity; the acceptance and education of children must be made with generosity and sacrifice; they must work with responsibility and flexibility; they help each other with acts of service and solidarity. How should the relationship with the friends and family be? How prioritize the expenditure of the family? And so on.

    Spouses must have clear these objectives and talk very much to have concrete agreements. When differences between the spouses arise in the future, rather than argue and fight, they can remember and apply the common project objectives.

(Painting: Tommaso y su esposa. MEMLING, Hans. Museo Metropolitano de Arte. Nueva York)

  A) Select an answer

 • The engagement of the spouses is ( ).
 • Spouses will have a series of ( ) that accept and live together.
 • They will be forever together with ( ).
 • The acceptance and education of ( ) should be with generosity and sacrifice.
 • How should the relationship with friends and ( ) be?.
 • Besides they talk, they should concrete ( ) agreements.
 • When they discuss can remember goals of ( ) common.

  2. Knowing well

   One of the objectives of the spouses is get to know each other well. This means having a personal treatment and speaks clearly with sincerity and transparency. From this treatment will emerge a knowledge not only of the external behavior but also of the personality traits, moral criteria, personal qualities, and so on.

    When they go from the engagement to the marriage, they have to go from a superficial treatment with purely sentimental romantic content to another treatment more realistic and with genuine love.

    The knowledge between them has to grow to avoid the annulment of the marriage by claiming that her husband or his wife is not the same person that met during the engagement. This reason is legally called "error in the personal qualities".

(Painting: Retrato de familia. HEEMSKERK, Maerten va. Museo Staatliche. Kassel)

  B) Select an answer

 • Spouses have to get to know ( ).
 • They must have many ( ) treatments and speak clearly.
 • They have to know the ( ) criteria and personal qualities.
 • In the engagement, the treatment is more ( ) with romantic content.
 • In the marriage, the treatment is more ( ) with genuine love.
 • They must grow in knowledge to not reach to the ( ) of marriage.

  3. Evolve e

   In marriage, love must evolve and go from a dedication by enchantment to a dedication by will, based on the actual knowledge of the other, including defects.

    They must go from the dreamed "novel" to a love story enriched with attitudes of commitment and dedication. The first attraction should change in a loving relationship, until they verify that their love is sincere and they are made for each other.

    Another important aspect is that once married the defects of the other show more clearly. They should have a more realistic sense and love the other person as he/she is, with strengths and weaknesses. There will be no true love if they do not love the defects of the other.

(Painting: Joven escolar en su estudio. CODDE, Pieter. Museo de Bellas Artes. Lille.)

  C) Select an answer r

 • In marriage, love must ( ).
 • In engagement, there was a dedication for ( ).
 • In marriage, the dedication will be by decision of the ( ).
 • It must know and accept the ( ) of the other.
 • In marriage, there must be commitment and ( ).
 • It is important to love the other person with ( ) and defects.

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®Arturo Ramo García.-Record of intellectual property of Teruel (Spain) No 141, of 29-IX-1999
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